The Last Stand 2

5 Levels of fucking blowing off heads, ripping off legs and planting land mines; you've got yourself The Last Stand 2. Now, this is the kind of flash game I want to play. None of this typing words to win or moving your mouse over Doeos bullshit. THIS is actually fun and THIS is what I'll be reviewing.



You have 40 day's to kick some ass and make it to Union city. In the mean time, you'll be going from town to town gathering supplies and finding weapons/items. The challange comes with the types of zombies. Some zombies are dressed with bullet proof vests and a helmet, some are fat as shit, and others run across the screen at you. Oh ya, there are also zombie dogs. With all of this charging at you, there's no time to fuck around.
Along the way, you'll find survivors that can be equpied with weapons you've found. Careful, if a zombie has a weapon and gets to close, he'll take your survivor right the fuck out. One thing you'll notice while playing is that the accuracy can be pretty shitty. You might have the crosshair right on someones head, but you'll end up hitting someone else's leg way behind him, or not hitting him at all! When you're taking on some heat and this happens 2-3 times in a row, you're ready to tell TLS to fuck right off and insert your keyboard into the wall. Although this happens a lot, the games so fun you're going to keep on playing.

The visuals are great. There's blood everywhere, limbs all over the ground. C'mon, you shoot holes into their heads! The sound effects and music keep you're eyes glued to the screen. The zombies make some gnarling sounds while running at you, something like that sorta grabs your attention. The selection of weapons is good and the traps add some strategic gameplay.


You'll most likely breeze through the stages, up until Jonestown. This is the final stage and it packs some serious shit. You could save up on supplies to simply pass right through this town, but you're not a pussy, you've got some serious flash skill. Saving up traps really doesn't make a difference, you could use them all up the first level and watch the waves of zombies keep coming. The amount of shit that comes your way is, well, a lot of shit. If your survivors are dying and you're barely getting through to the next day, get the fuck out of there and get your Kongregate badge.

This is the kind of game you'd find yourself playing even if it didn't come with pixel rewards. Great game.

Challenge



What is it about zombies taking down helicopters? Kill 500 zombies between you and Union City to unlock the Blood Vial card.

500 zombies killed

Achievements



101 Damnations Badge (easy – 5 points)
Kill 101 damn dirty zombies in The Last Stand 2

Party of Five Badge (medium – 15 points)
Band together with 4 other survivors in The Last Stand 2

Dawn of the Alive Badge (medium – 15 points)
Make your way to Union City in The Last Stand 2

PLAY IT

Hedgehog Launch

Unlike other badges on Kongregate, you'll be getting these few with luck. Yes, luck. Theres really very little skill that can go into reaching space in 5 or less days. The only thing you can do is hope that you're going to run into yellow platforms when you sling your Hedge up.

Distributing your money can certainly make a difference. Are some shitty shades going to shoot you up 4 thousand feet into the air? No, probably not. I focused on 4 upgrades: your Band, Launcher, Rocket Pack, and eventually the E-Rocket. Hedge hogs, rocket packs, ELASTIC BANDS, FUCK YA! Since luck does play such a huge factor, I'm not going to tell you when you should upgrade and where you should zoom around. Instead, I made a video of me reaching space in 4 day's. More of a guideline then a guide.

You would think 4 day's would almost be enough to get me into the all time highscores. Well not exactly, the highscores on Kongregate are a piece of ass, I'm pretty sure the top score is something like 0 days.





Ya, I was right.



Pygmy Pioneer Badge – 5 points
Enter space in 50 days or fewer

Hedgie Glider Badge – 15 points
Reach space in 10 days or fewer

Minovian Hero Badge – 30 points
Reach space in 5 days or fewer

I know you can't expect to much with a flash game, but I would at least expect a fucking restart button. Having to refresh my browser 30 times trying to get the Minovian Hero badge was really shitty. That, and my frustration didn't cope well. Between the browser refreshing and the hoping for the best, you'll just be in it for the points, and be glad when it's over. A mediocre score for a mediocre game, 3 out of 5.

Construction

Right now I'm fixing up the banner, template, and adding a few reviews and guides I've written but never got around to posting. There seems to be a lot of activity with Kongregate (more badges a challanges a week). Hopefully this keeps up =). I need to update the old posts and post my Kongai guide.

Nano Wars

After a few tries with Nano Wars I finally completed all 14 levels. If you've got a mouse and one good eye you should breeze through this game, up until level 12. This level will piss you off till you shit through your chair. Luckily I'm here to vent for you and walk you through it.


Walkthrough

The goal here is to wipe out those green shit nanos. Each bubble is a little cell, and generates units according to the color that are living in it. Bigger cells generate units faster. To take over a cell, click on your cell then click on your opponents'. You'll send over half the units that occupy the cell your attacking with. Basically, click your man and send him out to kick some ass. Easy enough, so let's get started!

I was going to type it all out, but I thought it would be better to just show you.

Rewards

If viruses and Napoleon have taught us anything, it's that the deadliest of threats can often be the tiniest.Complete level 9




Tiny Victory Badge (easy – 5 points)
Complete level 3 in Nano War

Microscopic Mayhem Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete all 14 levels in Nano War

Tiger-Heli, Tiger-Hell of a piece of shit for a game

Taking a first glance at the cartridge, it looks like a pretty kick ass game. There’s a helicopter shooting fucking lazer beams at a tank. C’mon! I was seizure with excitement walking home with this baby. Coming back to the game years later, I brought with me the determination to kick some ass and to put this game under my belt.

No lie, it wasn’t so bad. You had bombs, you had a main gun, there were tanks everywhere, you could blow up airplanes and what looked like helium tanks, FUCK YEAH, I WAS ROCKIN’ ! I can’t remember how many times I died trying to beat the game, it was definitely a challenge, but eventually got there. Instead of your classic beat the boss at the end getting a congratulatory message, I flew right back to the beginning of the game. No pause, no message, no boss, the game just starts right over, what the shit is this? Ready to snap my controller in half, I put on the emulator, infinite health and sped up the game in an effort to find the ending.

Ya, I never did find an ending to the game. I remember as a kid trying to beat this, it’s such a disappointment knowing it was for nothing. What’s the point in playing a game? To get the satisfaction of winning and beating it, well what the hell happened here? Overall, I liked the sound effects, I liked the game play and controls, definitely a good game for it’s time. Considering the fact you can never actually beat it, is a bunch of shit which backs up my rating of 3.5.

Don’t waste anymore than 10 minutes with this game, if any. Knowing what’s ahead is discouraging and will leave you feeling like you’ve wasted your fucking time. If you want some challenge with an actual purpose, pop in Abadox, Rescue Rangers or Legendary Wings. Not to forget about the popular games like Castlevania or MegaMan.

Stay the fuck away from Tiger-Heli!

Warlords: Call to Arms

Warlords Undead Strategy:

Warlords is actually pretty easy to beat, but if anything can be a little time consuming. To beat all 25 maps I chose the Undead class:

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The halberdiers are slow but very strong, I didn't see the need of range, although it's very effective while fighting against trolls. Breeze through the beginning battles. Here's how you'll want to spend your gold:

Buy halberdier - 500gp

Upgrade Halberd Training, Armour and speed.

Before the last 4 maps buy upgrade "Spear training" and buy the "Scout" unit.

The way I spend my money was once I could afford any of those I instantly bought. I never saved up for any upgrade.

Fight your way through battles and conquer the land until the difficulty percentage gets roughly high 60's and greater. Spend your gold accordingly to what I said above. To win the last few battles I bought a scout and upgraded speed. I sent out scouts through the empty lines where enemies weren't coming, filling each gap then repeated this in rotation. If they enemies occupied all of the gaps, then I would send out a few Halberdiers(2 for each enemy) in one or two lines and continue. While solely sending out scouts, don't worry about fighting the enemy units, just let them through. The speed of the scouts makes up for it, for every unit they send, you'll send 2 or more scouts. This works since ever unit takes off the same amount of "health" off the bar at the top of the screen. For example a Mounted Halberdier will take off just as much health as a scout.

For completing Warlords: Call to Arms you'll get the Demon Class!

Extreme Eminent Domain Challenge

The humans, elves, orcs and undead of the land simply don't understand how important the construction of the new modern art museum is! Seize 10 of their territories.

Field of Corpses Badge (easy – 5 points)

Score 100 kills during a single campaign in Warlords: Call to Arms

Medieval Unity Badge (medium – 15 points)

Conquer all 25 maps with any race in Warlords: Call to Arms

Grid16

Grid 16 is a collection of 16 mini games that will get faster and faster the further you progress.

BADGES

Sweet Grid16 Badge (easy – 5 points)

Reach a x3 multiplier in Grid16

Microgame Masochist Badge (hard – 30 points)

Prove that you can play minigames long after they stop being enjoyable by getting a x5 multiplier in Grid16

The way I got a x5 multiplier in Grid 16 was by focusing on one or two games that you're good at or are easy. The first game for example is really easy, all you have to do is move left and right to find the open slot to move down. I made it to the x5 speed with only the first game and the game underneath it. This way, there wasn't a lot of jumping around from game to game and it wasn't hard to keep track of what was going on in the game.

Games

Grid 16 is fun for 10 minutes. Once you get the badges you'll never come back and play this again. 3/5